Spiderman and Little Red Riding Hood went out with their friends (Ben - Spiderman #2, and Bella - Fairy Princess) and canvassed the Main St. neighbourhood for sugar, salt, and fat last night. The horrid forecast was totally wrong - it was actually pretty great - warm temperatures, no rain, and LOTS of candy.
Today, however, is another story. The Day After has so far been a wee bit of a disaster. Sugar-addled maniacs with short attention spans, wound up like a top, fighting with each other, and all with the volume turned up to 11.
So to burn some of the crazy energy, I took the kids out to the beach for a bike ride / dog walk this morning and it was LITERALLY over two hours of non-stop, stream-of-consciousness babbling and an endless loop of annoying children’s songs blended together into the most annoying audio experience I’ve ever had…
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-o…
A doe, a deer, a female dear…
Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don’t, I don’t care, I’ll pull down your underwear…
Little boxes, on the hillside, and they’re all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same (we’ve been watching Weeds!)
Hush little lovebug, don’t say a word - the moon’s in the sky and the nighthawk is heard…
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O…
A doe, a deer, a female deer…
There’s pink one, and a yellow one, and…
I’ll pull down your underwear.AND ON AND ON AND ON…
AAAAAAH! It’s like having an insane person standing on your shoulder talking into your ear ALL THE TIME.
You know how sometimes evil things are described as “The Perfect Killing Machine?” (Terminator, Dick Cheney, etc)
On days like this, I think of small children as the universe’s “Perfect Annoying Machine“- efficient, effective, and completely focused on their mission to drive their elders bonkers.
I just wish that for special occassions like The Day After Halloween that the wee ones came with a mute button. (Yes, I know I’m a heartless, horrible father…)
Posted under Children
This post was written by Steve Pratt on November 1, 2008
Amen to all of this… I’m living the same horrid day… plenty of disciplining and bad moods all around - most likely caused by the peaks and valleys of the all-mighty sugar drug.
On the plus side, I found out that if you also dress up as a Viking and accompany your kids incognito, you can swig beers and shock the neighbours in the cover of darknes… BEST DAD EVER!
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I like your new site! Jackson is singing the EXACT same songs (minus the Weeds)guess they are learning something at school
And YES….Beard Papa (if that is his real name)does a mean cream puff.
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